Pen Grenades

I found this amazing cassette tape at a 99c store in Oxnard, CA for, you guessed it, 99c.  I believe a got a great deal, as this tape is worth at least $1.20.

HULK HOGAN and The Wrestling Boot Band  –  ”HULK RULES”    1995

track listing:

A:  1. Hulkster’s in The House  2. American Made  3. Hulkster’s Back  4. Wrestling Boot Traveling Band  5. Bad To The Bone

B:  1. I Want To Be a Hulkamaniac  2. Beach Patrol  3. Hulk’s The One  4. Hulkster In Heaven  5. Hulk Rules

Liner Notes:

“Millions of adults and children in the United States and around the world know that Hulk Hogan is the most powerful force in the universe.  They are the “Hulkamaniacs” and “Little Hulkamaniacs” that have cheered Hulk Hogan on to victory and world heavyweight wrestling championships in the 1980′s and 1990′s.

“Now, Hulk Hogan who has vanquished bad guys in the ring, set live attendance records, pinned a giant, conquered pay-per-view, made movies, hosted “Saturday Night Live,” donated his time for over a decade to the “Make A Wish Foundation” (and in that decade has been their most requested human being,) and been on all sorts of merchandise (shirts, buttons, action figures, bandanas, etc.) now adds a new dimension:  his very first music album.

“”HULK HOGAN:  HULK RULES” brings a new dimension to the Hulkamania phenomenon, as the huge pythons wrap themselves around the world of music and bring it into Hulk’s control.

“This album is being released through Select Records, a very hip, cutting edge record label, the home of The Jerky Boys, Kid’N Play, Chubb Rock, AMG and many other record industry success stories.

“Hulk Rocks.  Hulk Raps.  Hulk delivers a poignant ballad.  He is accompanied by the man most often at his side, the “Mouth of the South,” his manager Jimmy Hart (who began in music as a member of The Gentrys);  the lovely and talented Linda Bollea;  and the also very talented musician JJ Maguire.  Hulk, Jimmy, and JJ co-wrote all of the songs on the album, including Hulk’s theme song “American Made” and the catchy “I Want To Be A Hulkamaniac.”

“Music is not new to Hulk.  He actually started as a bass player before he turned to professional wrestling.  Hulk’s return to music was inspired a few years ago by a very sad event:  the death of a child in the United Kingdom who Hulk had visited while the child was still alive.  This moved Hulk to write the ballad “Hulkster in Heaven,” and inspired him to work with Jimmy, JJ and Linda the members of The Wrestling Boot Band, to create an entire album.  As Hulk began writing more songs with his collaborators, he became more and more excited that a music album would become a reality.

“The extremely talented and hard-working Jimmy Hart, accompanied by JJ Maguire, and the Hulkster, spent many long hours in the recording studio producing this album, and Hulk is very excited by the results.  We feel confident that all of his Hulkamaniacs will be too!  –Mike Omansky”

OK, so I know you’re wondering what it sounds like.  Let’s just say you should be glad that I did all the heavy listening for you.  To their credit, it is a tight, professionally recorded album.  Although released in 1995, I respect the fact that they had no problem using the most generic of 80′s synth and guitar tones throughout.

Here is the breakdown:  A–tracks 1,2,5  and B–track 5 sound like 80′s metal, but not the good kind.  Side A–track 3 and side B–tracks 1,2 have The Hulkster rapping over cheezy synths.  B–track 3 is a generic sounding 80′s synth-pop song, and A–track 4 throws us for a loop with a Jimmy Buffet style relaxer.  Finally B–track 4 finds Hulk sing-talking (mostly in tune) over a cheezy synth ballad, complete with a keyboard trumpet melody, and emotional chorus of female background vocals.  My favorite lyrics from this track (Hulkster In Heaven):

“I used to tear my shirt, but now you tore my heart.  I knew you were a Hulkamaniac, right from the very start.  You were my friend, I’ll see you again.  When the Hulkster comes to heaven, we’ll tag up again.”