Foreskin Manon June 18, 2011 at 8:35 pm
Able to leap from stupid to anti-semitic stupid in a single bound: It’s a goy! It’s a schmuck! No, it’s Foreskin Man!
No, I’m not joking. No, I didn’t make this up. See for yourself.
“Foreskin Man” is the creation of Matthew Hess. (Hess? I couldn’t make this up.) Hess is a San Diego, CA, based “intactivist,” fighting to keep baby foreskins intact.
Hess is the president of mgmbill.com, home of the “Male Genital Mutilation Bill.” According to the Washington Times, Hess is the author of the language of a November San Francisco ballot measure that would make circumcision illegal. A $1000 fine for violators andÂ NO religious exceptions.
But enough facts! Back to the action!
By the light of day, Foreskin Man has a secret identity as a self-righteous hunk (cleverly disguised with glued-on
pubic facial hair). His job? Why, he’s the head of the “Museum of Genital Integrity,” an evidently underfunded museum with only one exhibit: a simulated bloody infant circumcision. Ah, but after hours, our hero crawls into his dark, secret orifice cavern, stares at the golden foreskin of his costume, and waits. Waits…
…until the evil forces of circumcision rear their ugly heads! Foreskin Man bursts from his man-cave! Ready to do battle with – - the Jews!
Oh, no! It’s “Monster Mohel” and his goons! Evidently, Matthew Hess owns the only copy of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion in which Jews are instructed to break down the doors of rich white people, carry machine guns, and circumcise at gunpoint.
Brazilian artist Gledson Barreto doesn’t miss an anti-semitic ink stroke. The mohel (the accurate term for describing someone Jewish and trained in circumcision) is depicted drooling with bloodlust, blank-eyed with evil, and leaping on the voluptuous Aryan mother, bashing her into unconsciousness.
One positive aspect to this comic: it’s increased my vocabulary.
In an inspiring example of justice, Foreskin Man kidnaps the baby. The baby is given up to the beach-loving “Intactivist Underground”: a hot babe, a biker who resembles a fat Gene Simmons, and a few male and female mannequins. As the sun sets, the Intactivists build a tower of circumstraints (boards for immobilizing infants for circumcision)…
And burn it.
A happy ending for the Intactivist Klan, and a clear message for the rest of us.